That relationships and commitment are out.
And that friends with benefits and casual sex are in.
That emotions are bad.
And that substances are good.
That people suck.
And that boys are stupid.
That the feared freshman 15 does not actually exist.
Because half of all freshman will just vomit everything they ate from consuming too much alcohol.
And the other half will vomit everything they ate because dining hall food actually sucks asshole.
I’m ready to be happy.